The Art of Being Tolerant

Welcome to motivational Saturday’s. This is where we take a break from finance to motivate and inspire. Enjoy!

 

It requires less character to discover the faults of others, than to tolerate them.- J. Petit Senn

 

It is easy to see what a person does wrong, and it is easy to catalog their faults. Maybe they are impatient, irrational, disrespectful, annoying, arrogant or impetuous. It takes a great deal of character to tolerate a person who has faults, which, in reality, everyone does.

 

 In order to be tolerant of others, you have to first know yourself. Do certain people bother you more than others? You need to take the time to answer why these people bother you. Maybe after some introspection you discover that you are intolerant of people who you find to be arrogant or the people who think they are better than everyone else.

 

 Once you have identified the reason why you find certain people annoying, you can work on a solution for you to become more tolerant. Perhaps you could take the time to talk to them and see where their arrogance comes from. It is possible that they feel insecure, and they act arrogant because they are unsure of themselves. If that’s the case, maybe you can find ways to help them feel more comfortable in their situation whether it’s at work, at school or socially. Your small efforts might make them less arrogant and make you more tolerant.

 

Listening is an important part of being tolerant of other people’s faults. For example, you have a co-worker that talks very fast, and every time he starts talking you just sort of tune him out because he irritates you talking so fast. However, it is possible that if you take the time to listen to him, you might actually agree with what he is saying. Also when you take the time to listen, you are not spending your time talking and telling the other person how to be a better person by fixing those faults that you have already noticed.

 

Another way to be tolerant of others is to find something positive about them. Even if a person is very impatient, he or she could still be a very compassionate and kind person. If you take the time to get to know them so that you can find something positive about them, you have found a reason to be more tolerant of them. Another good thing to remember when you are trying to be tolerant is that all people are human at their core, and that is something that relates us all.

 

So you noticed that your neighbors are loud at all times of the night, and you have noticed that your boss cannot seem to make decisions, and you have noticed that your mother-in-law can nag you to death. Now that you have noticed all these people’s faults, what are you going to do about it? Have you taken the time to think about why these things are irritating you, and have you taken the time to see why they do what they do?

 

What will you do to improve your character and become more tolerant of people’s faults and of people in general?

 

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  • I have found what bugs me most about other people are the flawed traits in myself. Gotta learn to love me first!

  • YFS /

    Interesting perspective Lisa. When did you first notice this?

  • Tolerance is difficult as is indulgance. Getting the balance right is difficult.

  • Some people are just no good though… In a big company, we don't get to vote on whether or not to work with them, so the best solution is to just steer clear.

  • Ann /

    Hi there,

    This is a great article because it will make us look at people not just react to their persona toward us. All too many times, rather than stopping and thinking about it, we simply react to that person and it is definitely not always a good reaction. Tolerance is surely a learned skill in our fast paced society. However, now that you have pointed it out, I am going to really look at the person not the situation or circumstance and try to figure out the issue. Thanks for bringing this up so close to 'resolution' time!

  • YFS /

    Ann I try to stop and think before reacting but I must admit I often fail. You're 100% correct when you say tolerance is learned. I also feel that tolerance comes when a person become more mature and has experienced things in their life. Do you have any situations where you felt that you should have been a bit more tolerable?

  • YFS /

    I tried the steering clear approach before it works in some circumstances but when you have to always work with the person it is in your best interest to find a happy medium. I quit a few jobs because I was intolerant of the quirks of certain co-workers. I'm definitely happier that I don't let them get to me.

  • Jami /

    I agree.

  • YFS /

    Hey Jami!!! How's this Holiday season treating ya?

  • Jami /

    I like your use of antonyms here. I never thought of it like this. From now on I'm going to say, "Consider yourself warned. I won't be indulging such-and-such again." lol

  • Jami /

    Ok. I had an interview earlier this week. If selected I will hear something by next Friday. peace.

  • Jami /

    Everything and everyone is not to be tolerated. There is such a thing as "zero-tolerance" and rightfully so. And at the same time for some, if the person is a relative or friend a blind eye may be turned unfortunately. I think the first question is do I have any responsibility to notify anyone or the person directly? If you talk directly to the person I would agree that you have to ask yourself some questions first. Based on your answers you might find you are overreacting to the perceived flaw. peace.

  • YFS /

    Good Luck!

  • YFS /

    You do make a great point. But, depending on how offensive the person is it takes strong person to think instead of reacting.. there are certain circumstances where I'm just going to react.. and that's not good

  • This reminds of something I read once on a psychological concept called “the human shadow”. basically what i gleaned from it was that, what we like about others, we also like about ourselves or are our strong points that we’re not noticing…and what we hate or find annoying about others is also something we or find annoying about ourselves. Basically just seeing our own reflection in others. I think like you do kind of in that it’s much easier to just let stuff slide, I mean if you condemn and jump someone’s ass because they’ve done something that you deem “wrong”, it isn’t going to make them change in most cases, it’s just going to make them resent your judgement and justify why they do what they do. Good post man, got me thinking, thanks 🙂

  • Love the response!

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